Broken Heart
by An Bouwer
Summary: "I love my brothers. I love Makino, Gramps, Dadan and the bandits. I will love my Nakamas. And I love you. But I don't think I can love you the way you want it" and with those words my heart broke and I knew my first love was never going to work. [LuffyxOc. M/M. Unrequited love.]


**Warning:** English **isn't** my first language so this going to have _**A LOT OF MISTAKES**_. Sorry for that—I will try to give my best. If someone can help me with this, I will be very grateful. So… That's all.

* * *

"You smell like… Rubber and meat?" I said without thinking as I looked towards the top of a tree. Seconds later the leaves moved and a boy with a straw hat fell down, chewing quickly and with more food in his hands. He looked about my age.

"Huh? How did you know I was there? I thought I had hidden well!" said the boy with a pout, putting more food in his mouth.

"Well… you really were, if it hadn't been me, I don't think any other would have found you."

The boy finished with the remaining food in a single bite—how the hell did he do that?! —and he looked me curious.

"How did you do it?" he asked, invading my personal space by taking me by the shoulders. His eyes glued to my face without noticing my discomfort.

"Ugh… I can smell things, err—I don't know. I just can."

I tried to take a step back but he didn't release the grip.

"Great!"

"It really is not" I murmured, a little depressed. "Everyone says it's creepy…"

"It is not! It's the same thing they say about me" he said, letting me go. I was about to ask him what he meant when he put a hand in his cheek and stretchered it unnaturally. "You shee? They shay it'sh weird and my broder shaysh it'sh ushelessh."

"What… What the hell are you?!" I let out a scream as I backed away but tripped on my own feet and ended up falling to the ground. The boy released his cheek and returned to his place with a painful 'slap'. He blinked a couple of times and smiled.

"I'm a rubber boy" he frowned thoughtfully and then adjusted his hat, grinning broadly. "I'm Monkey D. Luffy!"

"Ru-Rubber?" I asked. Well, that explained the smell, right?

"Yep. I ate the Gomu Gomu no Mi when I was child and I became a rubber boy."

"The what?"

"Ah, it's a Devil Fruit; it gives you powers in exchange for becoming a hammer. You can't go back to swimming because you can sink" he explained, although it seemed more like he was repeating what he had been told.

"Fruit…?" my mind ran a thousand times a second. I got up right away, now I invaded his personal space but he didn't seem to mind. "Are they a rare fruit with swirling patterns and they taste like a shit?"

"Oh, you know them?" The boy— _Luffy_ , seemed surprised. I nodded.

"I do, I ate one a while ago… in fact, since that I started to be able to smell that way…"

"Then you are a user! Which fruit did you eat?"

"Err, I'm not sure. I didn't even know they existed until you mentioned it."

I pulled away from him and thought for a moment. That meant I was not the only one in the world, I wasn't… a freak. I smiled relieved.

"Thank you Luffy."

He didn't seem to understand what I meant but it didn't matter.

"Now that I think about it, how did you get in here?"

"Oh. I just jump the fence, it smelled too good and I couldn't resist" he said and his stomach made a hungry grunt. Luffy didn't seem embarrassed and I laughed.

"Okay, I got it. Well, as a thank you, I think I can give you more food."

Luffy's eyes began to shine and he looked to see me in a new light.

"Ah, thanks! You're cool! Let's go!" he started to run to the entrance of the house and stopped, turning to see me with a hesitant expression. "Huh… what's your name?"

I let out a laugh again, because Luffy's priorities really were incredible.

"My name is Toulouse" I introduced myself and Luffy nodded.

"Okay, come on Tuluz!"

"Huh? Wait, no, that's not my name. It's _Too-LOOSE_ " I tried to explain.

"Yeah, yeah, I said that. Tolosa!"

"No! It's _TOO. LOSEE_ " I gesticulated exaggeratedly with my mouth and Luffy laughed.

"You're a weird girl" he said between laughs and my face warmed, I could swear that my cheeks were more than red.

"I'm a _boy_!" I shouted a little too loudly and Luffy laughed even more.

* * *

We both walked down the hall to the kitchen, I didn't care much about being discovered since everyone as out at the party. But I still told Luffy to be silent.

It didn't help much. Luffy was making sounds of amazement with each armor we passed.

"Luffy, I don't want to be found, can you be silent for a minute?"

Luffy pressed his lips in a thin line and I couldn't help but giggled.

"Soon you can eat whatever you want."

We walked a few more meter until we came to a huge door. I knock two time, waited three seconds and knock again. The door opened to reveal an older woman.

"Young master Toulouse, what are you doing here?" she asked, looking at me with surprise.

"I came to find something to eat for my friend, Nancy" I pointed at Luffy beside me, who seemed too eager for food.

Nancy opened the door to let us into the kitchen, her domain. Nancy was the head chef in the mansion and my best friend. And she was like a mother to me.

"Very good, first of all. Who is this young man?" she looked at Luffy with caution, as if at any moment he was going to do something—other than looting the refrigerator.

"He is Luffy, I found him in the back garden. The smell of the banquet attracted him.

"It seems that you speak more of an animal than of a person…"

"Well…" I gazed at the boy next to me, his stomach growled. "I don't think there's much difference."

Macy rolled her eyes and began to prepare something to eat. I touched Luffy's arm so we could sit on a table behind her.

"By the way, Young Master Toulouse, his mother is looking for you.

I let out a groan as I dropped my head on the table.

"It's my birthday, I thought I _could_ do what I wanted" I complained.

"The Madam doesn't think that."

"Shit—"

"Language."

"Shit" I repeated, and Nancy sighed.

"It's your birthday?" Luffy asked.

"Yeah, in fact the banquet is for that reason."

"Ehh, then what are you doing here? You should be out eating."

I sighed.

"I wish it were so simple, Luffy…"

He didn't seem to understand and I didn't offer more either.

"Well, since we're in that. How old are you? I turned fifteen.

"Oh, I'm fourteen. In a week I'll be fifteen!"

"That's great. If you come again, I will give you a gift."

Luffy's eyes glittered at the word.

"Will you give me meat?" he asked hopefully.

"Pff, do you only think about food?"

"The meat is delicious!" he said with a pout. "And I also think in other things, like being strong, and being the Pirate King!" he announced happily, raising his hands. My eyes widened at his words.

 _Crash_

Nancy dropped whatever was in her hands.

"What…"

Luffy seemed happy with his statement.

I placed my head in my hands, my shoulders trembled.

"Tuluz? Are you okay?"

"Young Master…"

"Pfff—Pirate… King…" I repeated and then I couldn't anymore. "GYAHAHAHA! PIRATE KING!" I yelled as I let out a loud laugh. Tears were gathering in my eyes and my stomach was beginning to ache. "That is…"

I could see Luffy frowning. Okay, I think he misunderstood me.

"That's" I began again, trying to calm down, "that's amazing, Luffy."

Luffy's expression changed completely, now he was smiling widely.

"Fiu, for a moment I thought I'd have to hit you for laughing at my dream" he said relieved, patting my back with his hand in a friendly gesture.

"Luckily you let me talk. Sorry but no. I'm not the type that mockery at the dreams of others

Nancy seemed insecure but resumed her task, throwing us cautions glances every five seconds.

* * *

"Happy birthday Luffy."

"Happy birthday Tuluz!"

This was the second birthday that I celebrated with Luffy. It had been a little over a year since we met in the garden of the mansion. He had the idea that we would celebrate our birthdays together during his, although he had come last week to eat at this year's banquet anyway. I gave him a small box wrapped in red paper with a yellow ribbon.

"Woah, thanks Tuluz!" he cheered, taking the gift and beginning to tear the paper. I placed my chin on my hand, watching him with a little smile. The ribbon flew to my side and I took it, playing it between my fingers.

Luffy picked up the object, examining it, it was a leather notebook with blank pages. He seemed at it confused and then at me. I giggled.

"I know it's not meat, don't worry you'll have it too" his eyes twinkled. I laughed again. "You said you sailed to become the Pirate King, don't you? Then you will need to keep a record of your adventures."

His face lit up at the mention of that, seeing the gift with pleasure.

"It's amazing!" he hugged the notebook against his chest, smiling brightly.

"I know you said that you had in mind to have a crew of 10 people so if one of them is a chronicler then you can give it to they, although you have to fill it in the meantime. Please, don't give they unnecessary work" I pleaded, remembering Luffy's disastrous handwriting—aside from the fact that I suspected that he suffered from dyslexia.

"Yeah!" he promised, somehow I believed him, because he looked at the notebook as if it meant something more than what I said. "Aww, I don't have a gift for you…" he pouted sadly.

"I told you not to worry about that" I raised my hand with the ribbon and placed it over his head, "that you're here is a gift more than enough" he looked at me with his huge bright eyes, tilting his head in confusion. He looked adorable.

"For real?" I nodded and he smiled happily.

"Well, if you still want to give me something then you can do it next year" I assured him and again his expression waned, this time he seemed sadder than before. "What's wrong?"

"I don't think we can celebrate again…"

"Huh? What do you say? Why?

"I made a promise to sail when I turned seventeen" he said, looking at me guilty.

"So… does that mean we will not see each other again…?"

That information felt like a metal ball in my stomach, didn't I see Luffy again? No, it was impossible, he was my best friend—my _first and only friend_. Luffy seemed to notice my pain.

"When I find the One Piece and be the Pirate King I will return, I will come back to see you again!"

I wanted believe him, and I did. And although I didn't doubt Luffy, I knew that it would take time. And most importantly… he would meet new people, make new connections, and even if he didn't forget me, I would be replaced.

"I know…"

"Tuluz…"

"No, don't worry. I… I know this was going to happen but I didn't think it would be so soon. Well, actually we still have a year, don't we? Let's enjoy it to the fullest!" I smiled, swallowing my pain, Luffy didn't seem so convinced, and however he nodded.

* * *

There were a couple of knocks in my window, for actually, then silence and then two more knocks. There really was no need, I could smell Luffy since he slipped out in the garden but he liked that.

I got up from my bed, walking stealthily to the window so as not to wake anyone. I was already prepared with a cloak, a backpack with food and a knife in my belt. I opened the window and Luffy grinned as greeting. We both jump over the rooftops—with the help of Luffy's powers—and arrive at Terminal Gray.

We had this routine for about six months, about three or four nights a week, Luffy was coming for me and we were going through Terminal Gray or Mt. Corvo forest. Fighting with ruffians in the trash or against beasts. I was fun; I had never felt so alive, so free.

When we finished our day, or usual late-night we went to the cliff to rest. It was Luffy's favorite place and I felt special about being able to be there. I was glad Luffy trusted me. I love that place, the view of the sea, the smell of salt and the refreshing breeze.

"Why did you decide to sail at seventeen?" I asked, biting the meat of the crocodile we had captured.

Luffy chewed quickly and swallowed.

"My brother told me that at seventeen the nobles were engaged, so we promised that we would sail at that age."

I gazed him dumbfounded. There were too many strange things in that phrase.

"Oh right, you're a noble, don't you? You will too?

"Err, yeah, probably. But that's not important. How do you know that? Did Ace know about that?" Luffy had told me about his brother Ace since day one, so I basically knew everything about him.

Luffy lowered his piece of meat, looking miserable and I felt guilty.

"Apart of Ace I had another brother… Sabo, he was the son of a noble too but he wanted to be free!" he assured me, his tone was a mixture of frustration, anger and sadness. "He died a long time ago, when we were children, he was the one who told us about that. He said he would sail when he turned seventeen so he would not have to do that thing. Ace already did it two years ago and I will do it too."

"I see…"

I felt a little hurt because Luffy hadn't trusted me that before but I understand that it was not easy for him.

"Well, it's not long before you can fulfill that promise, right?

"Shishishi, yeah!"

The mood became animated again and we continued eating until it was time to say goodbye.

* * *

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"Luffy…!" I hissed, opening the window and Luffy fell facedown into my room.

"Why didn't you open?" he asked as he got up, sitting on the floor.

"I… I'm sorry; I don't feel like going out today."

"What's wrong?"

I looked at Luffy and sat on the floor too.

"Today during the party I was introduced to my future fiancée…"

"Oh?"

"The person I'm going to marry" Luffy nodded in acknowledgment, still not fully understanding. "It's what Sabo wanted to avoid" and with that he understood completely.

I felt strange, I had never really cared so much with whom I was going to get married or what was going to happen with my life, but since I had met Luffy that changed. I didn't want to marry anyone; I didn't want my life to be decided.

"I didn't want, Luffy. I would have liked to marry the person I like…"

"Huh? Why don't you do it then?

"It's no really easy, my parents would not accept it, I would be disowned, society would repudiate me and I—" I stopped in my tracks. Why did I assume things as if there really was someone like that in my life? "Uh, I'm sorry Luffy. Could you go? Don't come for a few days, I need to thinks about some things…"

Luffy seemed uncertain but nodded. He jumped out the window and disappeared into the night.

And when I was alone I let my cheeks turn in a crimson red.

* * *

When had my love for him started?

When he save me from that tiger? Or when we left my home for first time? On our birthday? During that sleepover in my house?

Or maybe, deep inside I knew it had been since our first encounter.

When I saw those innocent eyes and that disturbing curiosity.

I had no idea, just seeing him made my chest swell in a warm feeling but it was so painful too. Because it was impossible.

* * *

Luffy would leave tomorrow—or rather, in a few hours. This was our last time together.

We were in the cliff, sunk in silence. Luffy seemed uneasy since we had wasted our last week because of me (although he didn't blame me).

"Luffy, I never told you my dream, right?"

He shook his head, denying.

"Well, I really didn't have one until I met you. I think my dream is to be with the person I love."

Luffy blinked, confused.

"I… I love the sea, the books, the dog we found that time in Terminal Gray, but above all I love you. _I love you_. Not like brothers or friends, I love you in a romantic way" I said, with my heart pierced in my throat.

Luffy got up, his bat to the sea. He extended his arms and I looked at him.

""I love my brothers. I love Makino, Gramps, Dadan and the bandits. I will love my Nakamas. And I love you. But I don't think I can love you the way you want it" and with those words my heart broke and I knew my first love was never going to work. I wanted to cry, I wanted to run and hide under my sheets. But part of me understood Luffy.

"I know but I wanted you to know before you left. It's my last selfish desire" and despite the immense sadness that flooded me, I smiled.

* * *

The port was full, everyone was saying goodbye to a small fishing boat that was about to set sail. Shouts and smiles of happiness addressed to a single young man with a big dream.

I was hiding behind a house, just like other odd individuals.

I heard Luffy talk to Sabo and Ace, and also the villagers that this wasn't a charm but a challenge.

I saw Luffy defeat that Lord of the Coast who had caused him problems during his childhood, and above all, I heard him shouting—

"TOULOUSE, I'M GONNA BE THE PIRATE KING!"

And I smiled, with warm tears falling down my cheeks, wishing luck to the person that I most loved in the world.

* * *

Yes, I know—I COULDN'T HELP IT. I've never really been fan of the pjxoc but I couldn't get this idea out of me. I don't regret.

Curious fact about this fic! (that nobody cares)

x Mainly, Toulouse was going to be a woman, but my friend told me that that name was for men and although I didn't really care, the idea of leaving him as man I liked more.

x Why didn't I describe Tou's appearance? Because I wanted you to imagine him as you would like it. Although a clear idea of him would be that the next image: This.

x This fic was going (or is going to be, I still don't know) to be linked with another that I have planned but I'm not sure if I really write it. It's about Luffy's mother and Dragon.

x This was going to have another ending, a little sadder but I decided on this one.

And then, that's all. Thanks for reading!

 _ **Leave a Review to know your opinion, if you likes, if you have any questions or a constructive comment, and remember, each comment motivates the author to continue writing.**_


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